Guilt
by ChanielGokudera
Summary: There was always guilt in Gokudera's heart.Not until that moment when he finally released it.


This is the first POV story I now xD.  
a one-shot.

Disclaimer:I do not own the characters.

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She smiles happily when I'm around and cries when I'm about to go to a mission. I can't do anything at all when she's crying her eyes out. All I can do is listen to her quietly until she stops.I just tell her that I'll be ,who am I to say that? I can't predict the future.I feel sorry for the times I've been leaving her in the morning. I feel sorry that she wakes up finding an empty bed beside her and making breakfast for only herself.I always call her stupid like it's her name. Maybe I don't deserve to be loved at all but she is there at our cozy home, having the patience to wait for me when I leave. I feel extremely anytime she'll snap out of it and leave me. That's scares me so much though it sort of serves me right.

It was cold this day,snow raining in my head,feeling sorry for what I've done but I don't show anyone my weakness.I want to cry though,I'm a man,real men don't cry,well that's what they inside my heart is cracking into now,she has a happened after our last fight. I felt guilty.I'm so mad at the first time of my whole life,I want a hole under me to open and swallow me whole. I felt something wet in my eyes,wait,are this tears?I actually broke my tears is also the first time that I loved and cried for someone other than my mother and my conscience is eating shouting ' _come back to her,maybe she'll accept you again'._Now I'm beggining to think that maybe I'm too late now.I stopped crying and wipe my tears away and went on my way to her maybe, maybe she'll accept me back.I'll just try but if she rejects me,there's nothing I can time when I was about to leave,she told me that maybe I have another girl in my work.I was dumbfounded and to think she was that was my pride,my joy,my life,my happiness,my inspiration and she was my only was the one I think of whenever I feel down or everytime I feel like was the one I think of before I of my life,I want to see her maybe the most annoying teens when we're in middle school or we maybe hate each other,but time passes quickly.

It made me feel guilty whenever Im the reason behind her sufferings.

When I was nearly at her house, I saw a familiar face sitting on the bench. Until I went nearer and saw her, hugging herself. She was cold. I ran to her. What's her problem?! I panicked. What is she doing there?! I kneeled down in front of her and touch her hands, it was freezing. She was trembling. I want to call her stupid, scold at her and tell her to go inside, but that wasn't the perfect time for that. I asked her "What are you doing here outside?!" I gave her my jacket and put it on her shoulders. I waited for her was nothing.I sat down next to her and hugged buried her face into my neck. I felt water sliding down my , I pushed her gently , holded her chin and putted it up. She was crying.I don't know are many questions in my is she hurt?Did she got robbed?Did her favorite cake shopped closed?! I cant understand this girl ,

"I was waiting for you"she sobbed and sobbed,while me, my brain registered those six words into my mind.I was dumbfounded. I opened my mouth but no words just come out.I want to comfort her, but I don't know , I was too shocked to say something or too shocked to then continued, "I thought you wouldn't return,I felt nervous,I felt could I look up to tomorrow without you!?" she shouted,her tears were about to drown eyes widened,seeing the pain in her innocent chocolate brown eyes.I began to think of many ,I was troubled with her words,I felt 's too hurt,seeing her like that makes me hurt I swallowed most of her pain.I know Im the reason behind dare of mine are threating to fall anytime now.

"I love you…"she spoked.I gave it in,I the whole world just turned ,I cant handle extreme is too much.I turned my head side wards to avoid her I hesitantly reached out for her cheeks.I noticed she was biting her lower her soft skin touched my cold was still trembling.I cursed myself,although I don't know , her suffering were transferring to me.I felt irritated but, Its fine now because I didn't know what it's like to be hurt so I know.I put down my hand and hold I face the space between us, I shut my eyes so hard and then I began shouting "I love you too and I regret everything I did that made you sad! I felt sorry for all the times I've been hurting you!" I can't take it anymore, I needed to tell her everything. I continued "I'm sorry that I didn't took care of you the way you did,Im sorry I didn't give you much value the way you gave me…" I started crying again. She stare at me , raised up her hand, I was expecting for a slap .Until I realize the next thing that happened was that it never came, her tender hands held my chin and put it up "If you're lying, I swear I'll kill you- . Lying?!So she thought I'm lying.  
I didn't let her finished her sentence and shouted "What the hell woman?! Do you think I'll lie with such things, DAMN IT WOMAN!". I was furious, my eyes was so wide open.

I then realize she was already half asleep . "You promise not to do it again and stay with always, ok?" she murmured under her noticing,I began feeling sleepy too, but before I do I said "I promise with all my heart". From that day on, I didn't felt guilt in my heart because I let them all out and loved her the way she loved me.

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*yawns* I finally finished typing it.  
Trivia: I wrote this in a paper first and I wrote this every 5 minute break when we are practicing our dance contest thingy.  
Reviews will be if I make Gokudera too OOC.

~59FanGirl_PeaceOut~


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